Untraceable should have been more watchable.

Untraceable is part of a new breed of the horror sub genre, the shock thriller. Movies of this ilk are little more than paltry drills in pressing the boundaries of tolerable depictions of macabre violence in a public forum. The story, not being terribly original, takes place over the internet. Our heroine is a veteran agent in the FBI Cyber-Crimes Devision who works longs hours hunting down bad guys at night and is a loving, caring single mom by day. One night, the first night (after all it is a movie) she is presented with a potentially criminal website that beckons with the portal "Kill with Me?" Long boring story short, it turns out to be a super duper live streaming site that the FBI is powerless to shut down even with the eventual help of the NSA and probably a whole lot of other three lettered agencies to boot. The killer, well, kills on his site by having various types of torture devices hooked up to a site meter on his comodore 64. (or what ever PC was product placed, I don't remember) The more people who log on, the faster each victim dies. The acting was poor, the direction lack luster and the ending too preachy. Only watch this one if you like watching people "semi-humanely" tortured to death in our new millennium of Political Correctness and enlightenment.

the Golden Compass points to the thing your heart desires the most, an exit from the theater.

"The Golden Compass" promised much but definitely fell short even for a children's story. Like so many projects spawned in the dark annals of Hollywood boardrooms theses days, this script's inconsequential birth was poorly cloned from the bludgeoned vestiges of the classic works preceding it. Written with in a genre replete with masters of story telling, "Golden Compass" is nothing more than a trite pinchbeck of the more famous Fantasy stories written through out the years. The general consensus to date seems to be, take a horrifically obscene budget, cast a bunch of well known stars, hire one of the best CG animation studios and lastly have some studio writer pen some sort of script that can tie all of those elements together.
"the Golden Compass" was no exception. The cinematography and the CG effects were first rate, as was most of the acting. That's were any of the movie's appeal ended. The story was week and the direction lousy. Apparently in a parrallel universe each human is paired with an animal counterpart, a demon. The human and animal are bound together since birth. Since this is a fanatasy epic there has to be good and evil. The evil side in this boring tale would be the Magisterium, the ruling body over all things magical, basically an allusion to our own government. The forces of good lead by James Bond, I mean, Lord Asriel set out to seek a unique human at one of the polar regions who has dust flowing through him. Why dust, and why is it so important? Who cares just look at the shiny bright objects on the screen and the cute CG rendered animals. Some where in the debacle of a plot the bad guys hunt down the good guys, some polar bears show up to fight along side some witches and then the movie ends. The studio of course hopes you will want to actually go see the sequel to find out what became of the dust and Jame Bond, uh, Lord Asriel. Rent this for your kids but don't expect to get much more out of it than you would watching a "Curious George" cartoon with them.

In the Name of the King: A Bowel Purge Tale

"In the Name of the King: a Dungeon Siege Story" doesn't merit a full viewing let alone a review, but for the sake of innocent unsuspecting men, women and children everywhere I chose to abide the suffrage of watching each and every excruciatingly tedious moment of this repugnant cumulus of banal ribaldry. (in other words it sucked the big one and I wanted to walk out of the theater if it weren't for my duties as a reviewer and fellow human being to warn others) The story, what little there actually was, turned out to be nothing more than a shameless imitation of the "Lord of the Rings" series. The direction was lousy, the actors miscast , the score out of place, the story substandard, and the effects little better than B-grade amateur student film quality. Burt Reynolds in a wannabe Fantasy Epic, along with Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Kristanna Loken, Claire Forlani and Matthew Lillard? Bro, puff, puff pass, don't bogart all of the crack. This movie was D.O.A. before the script hit the producers hand, but unfortunately that didn't daunt powerhouse director/producer Uwe Boll and his cohorts from making his "masterpiece." I have seen more compelling heartfelt drama in a Billy Mays' infomercial. I saw this film because I had to, but you still have time to turn away. Learn from my mistake, please I can't bear the thought of any more needless suffering at the hands of lousy, talentless, life draining, hacks such as the parties involved in bringing this beast to life.

Cloverfield

"Cloverfield" is a lot like "Godzilla" meets the "Blair Witch Project" but with good writing, directing, effects and acting. The pace starts off a bit sluggish as we watch a going away party unfold for one of the central players and the ensemble of characters are slowly developed prior to the onslaught of mayhem, suspense and action. What made this film such a treat outside of the wonderful effects, was director Matt Reeve's brave choice to shoot the entire film "hand held" which lends a riveting feel of realism as the story unfolds from the first person perspective. The viewing audience is never given behind the scene information about happenings elsewhere in the city, the nature of the creature, or if the rest if the world is also under siege. We are right there with the characters as the events unfold live in front of us in our little microcosm of Manhattan proper. I did find myself wanting at times for this film to be a little more formula so that I could have learned more about the creature, seen it a little more and had some closure at the end. However staying true to the unique style of this film, that was not possible. This is definitely one of the better Sci-Fi thrillers I have scene in quite a while. This is not simple action by numbers, you the audience member will actually have to use your imagination from time to time, something directors have not let us do for many years. Give it a chance and enjoy it for what it is and you won't be disappointed.

The Man From Earth, Not Only Jerome Bixby's Last Work But Perhaps His Greatest as Well

Being an Uberfan of Sci-Fi, it is always refreshing to take a break from the mainstream drudgery of big budget, mindless, poorly written, special effects laden, hour and half product placement driven action fest. "The Man From Earth" is a story written in a style regrettably from an era long since past. The movie in essence is nothing more than a play shot on film, where in the characters interaction is immediate and more intense. Bixby, who also wrote for "the Twilight Zone" and "Star Trek" delivered a wonderful screenplay and story in which the subjects of immortality, religion and ultimately death could all be discussed in not only the traditional faith based emotional sense, but also through objective scientific hypothesis.
The story starts out with a group of college professors reluctantly throwing a rushed going away party for one of their long time friends and colleges, John Oldman. They are as upset over the speed of his departure as they are with him giving no reason for why he wants to leave so hurriedly at this point in his public career and private life. None the less they descend on his modest cabin to give him an impromptu going away party as he packs to leave. After some kind prodding and genuine concern, eventually Oldman takes a chance and decides to tell them a unique secret he has never revealed before, that he is in fact actually a 14,000 year old Cromagnon caveman that is basically immortal. Incredulous and offended, his fellow doctors and professors "play" along as he slowly reveals bits and pieces of his many centuries walking the planet. What makes this story so compelling is the spectacular in depth writing that addresses so many potential plot holes that so wantonly peek between the lines of such a complex medium. I was riveted from the beginning all the way to the surprise twist at the end. Sadly this was Bixby's last work to be made since his death in 1998. Modern day screen writers would do well to follow Bixby's work and gives us all a much needed break from the dull, boring crap that the studios keep forcing on us. This movie will keep you thinking long after it has ended. I will definitely be adding this wonderful film to my collection.

Helen predictably hated it. He said it was boring and dumb. All they did was stay in one room and talk, no action, no budget, no cool hard rock soundtrack. He was so pissed I made him sit through this that he hasn't spoken to me in a few days now. I'm sure I can get him to come around though by playing "Total Recall" or "Flesh Gorden" for him.