Southland Tales out of SYNC

"I am a Pimp and Pimp's don't commit suicide."A lot of first time viewers of Richard Kelly's latest work since "Domino" and the cult classic "Donnie Darko," will be prone to dismiss it as confusing, over done, even boring at times. That is unfortunate to say the least. This Sci-Fi twist on one of the oldest stories ever told , the book of Revelation, is refreshing in today's market of hackneyed remakes, mindless action Cg fest and teenage angst dribble. Dwayne Johnson (the Rock. The Run Down , Grid Iron Gang) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) head up an all star cast that includes Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake, Jon Luvitz, John Larroquette and Mandy Moore. This edgy story about an alternate future is at times admittedly hard to follow. The Rock gives a better than average performance ,as does the rest of the cast, while Kelly tells his story of Political Corruption, Societal Breakdown, Terrorism, Time Travel and ultimately the End of the World. Kelly's use of satire and comedic element's throughout the film lend an interesting contrast to the underlying message of the movie: We are living in a reality that is not far from the fiction portrayed on screen. Definitely worth renting if not owning. I highly recommend this film for all hard core Sci-Fi buffs out there. If he could have snuck in Michael Caine and Christopher Walken, it would have been near perfect.

Plant on the other hand thought it was complete crap and a waste of film stock. He found the story convoluted and thought Richard Kelly would be better suited directing the Sequel to "Foreskin Gump."

I am dangerously close to smoking Plant.

I am Legend Hear Me Snore.

Being dead doesn't mean you can't feel pain, pity or remorse. If you could hear my plant talk, oh the things he would say. I remember liking the original "Omega Man", the movie that "I am Legend" was so shamelessly cloned from. Sure it had lousy over acting, poor direction and a low budget, but what it lacked in appeal it made up in story. Plus how can you go wrong with Charleston Heston at the helm? Well one would think the same for "I am Legend" and the immense star power of Will Smith, definitely one of my favorite contemporary actors. However F. Lawrence who brought us "Constantine", failed to deliver once more with this hour and a half melange of second rate CG effects, student film making and which way script writing. I found myself wishing I was still alive, just so I could kill myself to escape the misery of this unimaginative trip through lifeless dialog and mundane plot contrivances. I would've rather had the chance to suck the puss filled phlegm out of a cow's throat until it's stomach went flat, than endure for one more minute, the sophomoric pantomime of midlife crisis so forcefully regurgitated upon the defenseless audience. The ending ,just as trite and anticlimactic as the opening, could not come soon enough. Do yourself a favor and save the $3 or $4 dollar rental fee and watch something more entertaining like C-Span ,Sabado Gigante, or the lastest Al Jazeera tape.