10,000 B.C. Not Long Enough Ago to Forget This Craptacular Fiascoe

Roland Emmerich's latest big budget "Historical Fiction for Dummies" or "10,000 BC" as it was officially released, is by far his worst collaborative effort to date. The pace of the movie started of really slow for about the first 65 minutes and then as the story started to head in to the more intense action sequences, it really got boring. I've never been a huge fan of CGI though I have more or less accepted it as a mainstay in cinema today. Fortunately the CGI effects, though numerous in this film, were first rate and didn't detract from the movie, Mr. Emmerich's lousy direction coupled with a total lack of plot did that. I have consistently been suckered in by his promises of original stories, big effects, big names and shiny bright objects. I have faithfully followed his work ever since I accidentally saw his second major commercial success, "Stargate."Since then I have diligently sat through all of his almost hit movies and his two biggest failures (Story wise) ID4 and Godzilla.
The movie starts with a narrator, yes a narrator because unfortunately most of today's viewing audience has enough trouble choosing Jif, switching to Geiko or remembering to bath on must see TV night. Upon hearing the narration I was immediately taken back to one of my worst traumatic childhood memories, watching the 1984 made for TV "Ewok Adventure" narrated by Burl Ives. God, the years of therapy it took to get over that. Watching "10,000 BC" was about as exciting as standing in line for tickets to the "Rosie O'Donnell Show." The action sequences were few and far between, not to mention less compelling than Mark Furhman hosting the NAACP Image Awards. Save your money and if you have to see it, wait for the dvd release. Meanwhile, if you want to go out to the movies, pick something more intellectually and emotionally stimulating like "Horton Hears a Who."

Helen liked this movie from start to finish. (I can only guess because ,being a plant, he has no eyes or ears) He found the narration helpful and absolutely loved the action scenes with the Saber-toothed tiger and the Mammoths. He thoroughly enjoyed the counter play between the would be hero and the villain who stole his wife. All in all he loved this movie and for that matter all of Roland Emmerich's films. (of course I would like to remind our readers, he does have the IQ of a plant)